Daniela Zambrana

INFIDELITY Part 10 - Redefining Marriage / Relationships and Monogamy Reading time: 6 minutes

24/11/2021

Redefining marriage / relationships
We used to marry till death do us part, today we marry till love dies. Marriage used to be a place where we had financial security, today it is a place where we seek emotional security. That is a fundamental change! And divorce has also changed: We need to be able to leave in order to choose to stay.

There is a great dilemma in love relationships today: it seems that there is a crisis of desire when romance enters a relationship. Desire as ownership, desire as an expression of our individuality, our free choice, our preferences, our identity.

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INFIDELITY Part 9 - How do we reconcile infidelity? Redefining ourselves Reading time: 8 minutes

1/11/2021

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The inviolable of the romantic ideal is monogamy.
And the idea that monogamy is negotiable in the partnership is for many the sign that something is missing in the relationship.

The discussion of fidelity is not to be confused with an open relationship. Because the core of infidelity is secrecy. But the essence of an open relationship is that what we experience with other partners is not a secret. Secrecy is based on a structure of agreed rules (either open or not open).
When we cross established rules and boundaries, we discover that what is behind the boundary crossing in an affair is an expression of a search for more of ourselves, a search for parts of ourselves that we have hidden or repressed in our relationship for too long.

The real reason we are looking for something new is not to run away from our partner, but to run away from the person we have become. In fact, we don't want to find someone else, we want to find another "me." The "I" that we have repressed, that we dared not express in our relationship.

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INFIDELITY Part 10 - Redefining Marriage / Relationships and Monogamy Reading time: 6 minutes

INFIDELITY Part 9 - How do we reconcile infidelity? Redefining ourselves Reading time: 8 minutes

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